mu's world

nothingness

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

I know, I know. I've been quite neglectful of my blogging duties lately. It's very easy and tempting to say that not too much has been happening. But I'd kind of be lying. Life is happening and sometimes it's just too damned hard to keep up with it. And even harder to slow down to write and ponder about it.
So I'll give the short, less detailed version of it (I just realized that all of this lead up makes it sounds like a lots been going on...but really...not too much).
I've started a class on Thursday nights. It's a American Women's History course. So far, I really like it. I'm glad to be in a class again. Though along with the gladness comes some stress. I adore being a student, but it also scares the shit out of me. I enjoy the studying, reading, etc. But the classroom and some assignments stress me out more than they should at times. Up until this last week, I was feeling pretty confident about the work load and all of that. But then we got an assignment for a paper that's due next week. I'm freaking out about it already and I haven't even started it yet. And it's not even like a "real" paper...it's a 5-7 page essay. Something that an English major should be used to. Right? Anyway...when I'm not actually reading for this course, I'm thinking about how I should be. So...that's taking up some time in my life right now.
Let's see? What else has been going on? Me and Star did some crazy-condo-hunting a week and a half ago. We actually saw three that we liked and one that we really, really liked. It was almost perfect for us. We wanted to put in an offer. But we finally had the real realization that we have quite shitty credit. We owe everybody and their mother and there is no sane financial institution that would be interested in giving us a mortgage right now. So...we've got to work on our credit. It's not a surprise. I'd just wish we'd really figured this out before we saw a condo that I was picturing us really living in. It's a real bummer that I haven't let myself think about too much quite yet. The part that I'm kind of ignoring is the part where I'd feel that we were closer to starting our family when we are in a space of our very own.

Star's band and music is really moving. They had an awesome show about two weeks ago. A whole night to themselves and a good crowd. They've also been featured on different "pod-casts". And they've got about 6 more shows booked in the next two months. He rehearses about two nights a week now. I'm excited to see him making some way with his music. It makes him so happy (though their are some stressful points too). It's something he's been dreaming about forever.
Tomorrow I have a physical with my primary. I'm kind of dreading it. I'm sure I've put on some weight in the last year...I especially have been feeling it in the last two days. I don't know if it was this weekend of endless eating. I feel like there is a lot to go over with, with this doctor. I haven't seen her since my miscarriages. I don't know what all she needs to know, etc. And if there is anything she could help me with, etc. I've been feeling pretty shitty about my weight. I think I might have actually put on "winter weight" this year. My scale sucks. According to it I've only gained about 4 pounds...but it feels like a hell of a lot more. I want/need to exercise but it's so hard to get motivated when there is about two feet of snow on the ground. Especially when I don't have any good sneakers or warm enough work-out clothes. But yes, I know...these are just excuses. If I were rich, I'd have a personal trainer come and drag me out of bed every morning and make me work. I think that's what I need. Someone making me. I can't do it to myself for some reason. There are always excuses.

Oh well.
This is enough for now.

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